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Weirdest Reappearance by a Recluse Whose next Album is Ten Years Overdue

Axl Rose in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas With all the hype surounding the presidential election, it's okay if you missed the other big story of 2004: the release of Axl Rose's first newly recorded material in more than five years. But don't go looking for it in your local music store unless they also carry PlayStation2 games. While you're gang-banging and gat-blasting your way through the streets of the new Grand Theft Auto, the Guns N' Roses frontman can be heard as the voice of radio DJ Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith. Though some of the songs on his playlist aren't quite up to the standards of "Paradise City" (Toto's "Hold the line"? Rod Stewart's "Young Turks"?), check out the patter: "Music may not be the food of love, but it certainly is the food for anonymous sex in swiming pools"; or "For those of you just coming to consiousness next to an ugly chick in strange underwear, run the hell out and get to the clinic." Um, thanks for the advice.

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The second Axl mention comes in their year in review time line:

December 31
Another year passes, and still no sign of Chinese Democracy.

Axl, however, can be found every weekday afternoon at Canter's Deli on North Fairfax, third booth on the right.

In the same magazine Green Day and Juliette Lewis rate the hits of 2004 including "Slither".

Velvet Revolver "Slither"
(Sunset Strip supergroup's excellently gnarly debut single)

Lewis: I got one word. All capital letters: COCK.
Dirnt: There's a lot of cock ridin' around in that band.
Cool: And a little too much middle-aged man-flesh for my liking.
Lewis: It's the darkest, cockiest cock rock ever. It's sweaty, it's filthy, it's incredible.
Armstrong: I like to take OxyCotin and listen to this.