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June, 2004
Mexican Food With... Velvet Revolver
FHM For Him Magazine June 2004 issue 45
Their livers obliterated, rock legends set out to destroy their bowels

>Super Tacos Michoacan, North Hollywood, CA Round1: Corn chips

FHM Before we get started, are any of you currently on the lam?
Duff McKagan, bass No, not right now.
FHM Phew. You guys must have made a fortune playing in Guns N’ Roses and Stone Temple Pilots. Why are we eating at some low-rent taco stand?
Duff We rehearse around the corner from here. This place is horrible. It’ll kill you.
Matt Sorum, drums Anything could happen. You could love it, or you could die.
FHM Have you guys ever dusted your leathers with brown salsa?
Duff I’ve shit my pants. I was at a music convention in Chicago and I was too drunk to give a fuck. I just went into the bathroom and wiped it off.
Slash, guitar It wasn’t so much of a stench.
Matt I was in a limo once with this hot little stripper. I said to her, “Baby, I think I’m feeling sick.” Then it just came out like a scene from The Exorcist, out of my mouth and my ass at the same time. The stripper was so disgusted, she was sick too.
FHM Did you still get to bang her?
Matt Sure.

>Round 2: Arguing in Mexican
What do you guys usually order here?
Slash A taco, an enchilada and lots of pickled jalapenos. But my favorite tacos are the regular, cheap Taco Bell tacos.
Dave Kushner, guitar Hard-shell tacos are a no-no. I’m Mexican; hard-shell tacos are very American. They’re for the weak.
Scott Weiland, singer I prefer carnitas. Slow-pulled pork, roasted pork ones.
Matt Good Mexican food is all about the corn tortilla. It’s got to be done on the grill and it’s got to be two layers. The meat either has to be a good carne asada or a good pollo. And no fucking cheese and shit on there.

>Round 3: Quesadilla appetizers
The album’s called Contraband. What’s the biggest thing you’ve had wedged up your ass?
Duff Probably my old lady’s finer.
Slash Synthetic heroin in the form of a suppository.
Scott I put a couple of balloons of heroin and a crack pipe up my ass.
FHM Why put a crack pipe up your ass?
Scott Cocaine paranoia. I was in a suite at the Four Seasons in a city I won’t name. I was convinced that secret agents were around; that kind of thing comes with the advanced stages of freebase smoking. I didn’t want to get rid of the pipe, so I wrapped it in a plastic and “keistered” it. That’s the jail term for putting something up your ass.
FHM What is a velvet revolver? Is it a cock?
Duff It’s whatever you might conjure up. But there are some bad band names out there. Pearl Jam is horrible. Nirvana? There was a Nirvana in every city. There was an Incubus everywhere. Led Zeppelin, Def Leppard: They’re bad too.

>Round 4: Tacos all around
Besides eating these tacos, what’s the most dangerous thing you’ve ever done?
Duff I’ve OD’ed. I’ve stood on the edge of Niagara Falls. My pancreas blew up because I was drinking a gallon of vodka a day. I could go on.
Matt I hired a driver to take me into the jungles near Caracas, Venezuela, to score cocaine. He spoke no English but he had a handlebar mustache. Three days later, I woke up on the balcony of some hotel room I had no idea how I got to.
FHM Dangerous. You should carry a butterfly knife.
Matt I have one. Keith Richards is a butterfly-knife expert though.
FHM Have your partied with the master?
Matt Not with him, but in his vicinity. He mixed me a drink. It was nine parts vodka and one part cranberry. At the bar he was ordering two Jack and gingers at a time. I said, “Keith, why order two drinks at once?” He said, “In case I spill one.”

>Round 5: Burritos for six
Slash, pass the salsa.
Slash I partied at the White House when Clinton was in office. They had a New Year’s party and I snuck in a case of Evian filled with vodka. The party was raging. It was interesting meeting his daughter while she was partying hard.
FHM Does this whole band exist as a fuck you to Axl?
Duff No. It’s our statement.
FHM What do you think about his botox-and-leather look?
Matt I’m not feeling it. And I don’t know what’s going on with the hair.
FHM How many albums will you release before Chinese Democracy comes out?
Matt Probably three.

>Round 6: Pollo and hats
How long can a man get away with wearing a hat and leather pants?
Dave Forever. Look at Santa Claus. He’s fat, he wears leather boots and he’s got a hat.
FHM Slash, where’s your famous top hat?
Duff He only pimps the old hat out for special occasions now. I was the first one to experiment with the top hat. Slash said, ‘Hey, can I try that on?’ It’s the perfect look for him and it keeps his hair out of his eyes.
FHM Where do you buy those tiny belts for your hats?
Slash The first one was a Concho belt I stole and cut with some scissors. Concho belts are these Western belts that go around things. Since then, I’ve only had two made.
FHM Thanks for clearing that up.
Slash Are these the things you think about? I hate to think people lie awake at night thinking about where I get the little belts to go around my hats. (AV)

Thanks Gypsy


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